Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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