i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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