cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
