haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I need a burrito and a hug.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
