Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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