All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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