my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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