Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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