in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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