You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
