omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
