i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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