I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
zippers are such a cool invention
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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