I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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