just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Randomize
