when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
That's intense
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
