she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
