You work out of a Hotel?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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