those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
