he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
