I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
