The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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