my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
