Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize