I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You need a sexual gate keeper
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
