you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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