Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
