I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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