Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
