There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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