Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
