First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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