So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
