so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
