just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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