Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize