we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
