if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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