i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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