is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize