I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
