I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
