I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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