Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
It's blow job season.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
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