i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I smell stomach acid.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize