True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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