dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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