I wanna passion pit in your ass
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
