Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
We have started to decorate penises.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
