we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
