And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize