Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
