While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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