Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
