Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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