WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
