I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
